Andy’s Gift

Part 8: Crossed Wires

Eliza, overhearing the last part of the confrontation, came to the door of the kitchen. “Is everything all right?” she asked, looking at Douglas with distaste. Whatever was going on she was sure it was the fault of this odious man.

“Yes, Liz,” Chris sighed, finally taking his hand from his eyes, “everything is fine. Andy and I were just coming to see what we could do to help.”

“Well we can always use more hands,” his sister replied gratefully. “Would you like to help too?” she asked Douglas pointedly.

“Ahhh, well, you know, the kitchen really isn’t my area, Lizzie, Dear. I’m sure I’d only be in the way.”

‘You’re damn right you would be!’ Liz thought to herself. Out loud she responded, “I understand, Douglas, of course. Why don’t you make yourself comfortable in the living room again, and I’ll freshen up your drink.”

“Oh that would be lovely, Dear, just lovely, thank you.”

“You’re very welcome, Douglas. What was it you were drinking again?”

“A double martini, Darling, dry with two olives.”

“Fine, I won’t be two seconds,” Liz responded cheerfully, but she continued to hover protectively at Andy’s side, and Douglas hesitated uncomfortably, shifting his eyes back to Chris. Chris raised his eyebrows questioningly. “Go on,” Liz urged with a little wave of her hand, “I’ll bring it out to you.” Finally, faced with few other alternatives, Douglas turned on his heel and made his way back to the living room.

Liz turned to look reprovingly at her brother as she placed her arm around Andy, and Chris shrank from her gaze. “I know, I know,” he muttered. He had sought Liz’s help and advice regarding the animosity between his friend and partner on many occasions and was by now more than familiar with his older sister’s feelings on the matter. Without another word, Liz ushered Andy into the kitchen, and Chris followed, meekly.

“Uncle Andy!” Jake exclaimed delightedly as he entered the kitchen from the spacious breakfast room that opened off it. He had been setting the table where he and the other children would eat, and had been returning to the kitchen in search of another couple of forks. “Are you feeling better?” he inquired anxiously, coming up and putting his arms around his uncle’s waist.

“Yeah, Bud, I’m feeling a little better,” Andy returned the hug, but his tone was unconvincing.

“How’s that table coming?” Liz redirected her son before he could inquire further.

“It’s good,” Jake answered, “I just need two more forks and it will be done.”

“Excellent, Honey, thank you. I can’t tell you what a big help you’ve been.”

“Can I go watch a movie?” Jake asked as his mother handed him the required utensils.

“Sure, Sweetheart. Oh, but would you just take this to Douglas first, please?” she took the drink Chris had been busily making from her brother’s hand as he started to pass them on his way to the living room, and handed it to Jake.

“Ok,” Jake shrugged. “Want to watch a movie with me, Uncle Andy?”

“Uncle Andy’s still not feeling too well, Jakey,” Chris answered for his partner as he looked at Andy’s panicked face.

“Besides, I need him out here,” Liz added before Jake could protest. She too had caught the expression on Andy’s face.

“But . . . ,”

“No ‘buts,’” Eliza admonished, “I’m sure some of your cousins will watch with you, or Rebecca and Alice. Go on now.”

“But they’re all girls,” Jake muttered under his breath. He could see from his mother’s expression that there was no point in arguing, though, and with a scowl he turned and made his way back to the breakfast room. He paused briefly to place the forks in their rightful places and then continued on to the living room, with Douglas’ drink in hand.

Eliza watched him go and then looked worriedly back at Andy, noting once again the look of extreme anxiety on the face of Chris’ partner. ‘What in the world is going on?’ she wondered. ‘Whatever it is, that detestable man is in the center of it!’ she surmised once more with a flash of irritation. ‘Wouldn’t I just like to give him a piece of my mind!’

The rest of the afternoon passed relatively quietly as everyone came down from the Christmas morning high. The older children were settled in front of the TV in the den, watching a movie. Bonnie and her three younger cousins went down for a nap, and some of the other guests with young children started to take their leave. By the time 5:30pm rolled around, only Andy and Chris’ closest family and friends were left, those who were staying for dinner.

Andy and Chris spent most of the time in the kitchen performing the various little tasks Eliza assigned them, and not really talking much. Chris could tell that his partner’s spirits were low, but he attributed it to the unfortunate circumstances surrounding the present opening and he was unsure what to say at the moment. Now was neither the time nor the place for a long, emotional conversation, and there was no way to discuss what had happened without having one.

They were sitting at the table in the kitchen, now, peeling potatoes, and Chris glanced thoughtfully over at his partner, trying to think of a subject that would keep Andy from thinking about the disastrous coincidence that had occurred. He knew there was nothing he could say though, and he sighed, dropping his eyes back to the potato he was peeling. Never for a moment did he suspect there was more to his partner’s silent brooding. The events of the morning and the spanking he had given Andy were the furthest thoughts from his mind, let alone the sharp reprimand he had bestowed. Nor did he even begin to imagine that his partner might be thinking about it. He had missed the crucial exchange of eye contact in the hallway between Douglas and Andy, and been unaware of the message he had accidentally sent with his tone and expression. It would have mortified him to know how very much that earlier rebuke was exacerbating the stress Andy was currently feeling. Unfortunately for Andy’s piece of mind, Chris remained unaware, while his partner continued to fret silently across the table from him.

‘Never again, Andrew, will you ever address a guest in our home the way you addressed Jim today! Is that clear?’ Andrew glanced at his partner, but could not meet his eyes as the cutting words replayed for the millionth time in his head. ‘I could not possibly have been ruder to anyone than I was to Douglas an hour or so ago,’ he thought, and he squirmed in his chair. His bottom had still not recovered completely from the punishment it had received earlier, and the sting became all that much more potent again as he thought of the consequences he assumed were in store for him later. ‘If he could just make Chris understand,’ he agonized desperately, ‘but if there was one thing his partner had no tolerance for, it was rudeness. Merry Christmas, Andy,’ he sighed bitterly.

The strained silence continued as the evening dragged on, and Chris never became the wiser. He kept looking for opportunities to sneak off with his partner, even for just half an hour, but there were always too many people requiring their attention. Six o’clock came and went and then 6:30, and finally dinner was ready. Eliza called the guests to the table and began issuing commands right and left to her children, husband, and brothers and sisters, as the food made its way to the table and everyone took their seats. Andy too was helping, running here and there at Eliza’s request, but he had not perked up at all and Chris glanced worriedly at him as they finally took their own seats. Andy avoided his eyes and hung his head.

When everyone was settled Chris dutifully proposed a toast. “To our family,” he began, “especially Eliza who has been our absolute saving grace today! Liz , Andy and I are hoping already that you will be five hours early again next year . . .,” Eliza smiled sheepishly, and everybody laughed, but Andy. “To our friends who, for some unknown reason, continue to put up with us day in and day out . . . .,” more laughter, “and finally,” Chris looked at Andy, but Andy didn’t look up, “to our very first Christmas in our perfect little house. May it be the first of many! Andrew Grazier, you truly are the love of my life,” he ended softly, and there was a chorus of ‘awwws’ followed by still more laughter. Tears sprang to Andy’s eyes, triggered by the tender words, and distressed, Chris continued quickly as his partner brushed at his cheeks in frustration. “Let’s have a moment of silence,” Chris urged in the tradition of their family, and he took Andy’s hand in his own under the table as everybody bowed their heads. Only two other people had noticed Andy’s reaction to Chris’ speech; Eliza, sitting on Andy’s other side, put her hand on Andy’s leg, giving it a tender squeeze, and across the table, Douglas smirked to himself as he pretended to honor the custom of the family.

Dinner progressed cheerfully as food was passed, jokes were made, and stories were told, but Andy seemed oblivious to it all. He sat looking at his plate and barely picking at his food. Even his mashed potatoes remained untouched and those were his favorite. Chris too was quiet as he watched his partner and became more and more concerned. Eliza was livelier, but she glanced periodically at Andy. “Are you all right, Love?” she whispered at last. Andy nodded, but didn’t dare look at or answer her as he felt his throat tighten. She looked at Chris, but he refused to meet her eyes and she frowned. ‘What in God’s name is the problem?’ she thought to herself once more. No answers, however, appeared to be immediately forthcoming either from Andy or her brother, and finally, with a reluctant sigh, she turned her attention once more to the livelier end of the table. ‘It’s none of your business, Liz,’ she reminded herself. ‘Chris is a big boy now, and more than capable of handling his own affairs. Let them work it out. It’s not up to you to get involved,’ she began vigorously cutting the meat on her plate, and as her thoughts continued she glowered menacingly at Douglas.

Chris finished everything on his plate, but did not go back for seconds as he typically would do. Instead he looked around anxiously, waiting for everyone else to finish too. He was desperate now for at least a few minutes of alone time with Andy and the transition period between dinner and dessert was the only opportunity they would have to sneak away without causing a stir. He watched despairingly as Alex took a second and then a third helping, but at last his brother set his fork down, and not a second later, Chris began collecting plates. With quiet efficiency, he scraped each plate as it came to him, dumping all of the excess food onto his own plate and stacking the others in a pile.

Andy did his part too as he received the plates coming down his side of the table. His own meal was still practically untouched, however. Silently he stacked the dishes as Chris had, and then sat miserably contemplating all the good food he had been unable to eat. Chris glanced at him briefly as he continued to scrape and stack and the anguished expression on his partner’s face caused a pang in his chest. ‘Hang in there, Baby,’ he thought to himself. Finally the task was finished and Chris pushed his chair back from the table. “Who wants decaf?” he asked, mustering all the cheerfulness he could as he rose to his feet.

There was a break in the steady stream of chatter as everyone paused to consider Chris’ offer and most of the adults accepted, agreeing that a nice, hot cup of decaf was just the thing to help their meal settle before they dove into dessert. “Come on love,” Chris whispered, putting his hand on Andy’s arm, “come give me a hand.” Andy met his partner’s eyes and swallowed, forcing back tears once more, but without a word he too got to his feet.

Douglas stood also as Andy and Chris turned towards the kitchen, each with a stack of plates in their hands. “Shall I help?” he called after them.

“No thanks,” Chris responded, glancing back over his shoulder, “I think we’ve got it.”

“But surely, darling, you could use another pair of hands . . .,”

“They’ll manage, Douglas,” Liz’s voice was polite but firm as she abandoned her own conversation and leapt to her brother’s rescue, “do sit down.” Eliza fixed him with unwavering eyes, and Douglas hesitated. He had never known just how to handle Chris’ frank older sister. He always had the distinct impression that she didn’t like him very much. He shifted uncomfortably, glancing once more in Chris’ direction, and Eliza frowned. Douglas looked back at her, and frowned too. A moment later, however, he resentfully resumed his seat, and Chris looked gratefully at his sister as he turned and followed his partner into the kitchen.

Andy was already taking the can of decaf from the cupboard as Chris entered the kitchen and set his stack of plates on the counter. He paused for a moment, watching Andy’s face as his partner set the coffee down and dug out the filters, but as Andy opened the can and began scooping coffee, Chris without a word went to the cabinets behind him and started to fish out the cups and saucers they would need. He could tell that Andy was working up his courage, and he waited, hoping his partner would raise the subject first. When he had finished setting out the cups, he left Andy to start the coffee, and disappeared into the pantry, intent on retrieving the sugar and the pies. He was still searching for the sugar in the tiny room jam packed with holiday goodies and other odds and ends when he heard the timid steps of his partner behind him, and he closed his eyes. ‘Here it comes,’ he thought as he heard the door click softly shut.

“Chris?” Andy began in a choked whisper.

“Yeah, Baby,” Chris turned to meet his partner’s brimming eyes, and a moment later Andy was in his arms, clinging to his neck and sobbing. “Caro, oh Caro,” Chris tightened his arms and held him close. “Come on Baby,” he soothed, rubbing his partner’s back. “Come on now, tell me what’s going on,” he urged gently, fairly certain that he already knew.

“I’m sorry!” Andy sobbed. “I’m so sorry!”

“Sorry for what, Baby?” Chris replied in a somewhat bewildered tone. Surely Andy didn’t think he was mad at him.

“For being rude! I didn’t mean to be! It just happened, I couldn’t help it! I wasn’t feeling well, and I was mad, and I just wasn’t thinking . . . !” Andy was becoming hysterical and Chris’ mind was racing as he tried to keep up.

“Slow down, Baby, slow down! What are you talking about?”

“I just slipped,” Andy sobbed once more. “He pushes my buttons Chris, you know he does! I didn’t mean to be rude to him!” In a flash of horror Chris understood what this was about and he hugged Andy tighter, kissing his head and holding him close.

“All right, Caro, all right,” he soothed as he tried to think how best to handle the dreadful predicament he now found himself in. ‘Damn Douglas!’ Chris cursed silently. He thought of his harsh words to Andy earlier this morning and he bit his lip. He had not felt at the time that his chastisement was particularly severe, but even he forgot sometimes how sensitive Andy was. ‘Damn it, Chris! You fool!’ he reprimanded himself. His partner had clearly been fretting this whole time about the prospect of another spanking, on top of everything else! Here he was now, begging for forgiveness, and the worst part was Chris was in no position to relieve his anxiety. He could hold Andy and comfort him, tell him how much he loved him, but he could not say the words he knew his partner most wanted to hear. He could not promise he wouldn’t spank him.

The reasons had nothing to do with Douglas of course, but to embark on this conversation right now was impossible. The subject was far too complex and emotional and Chris was not prepared to talk about it yet. He had intended to wait until the end of the night, when everyone had gone home. Even if he tried to explain it now, Andy was far too agitated to even hear let alone understand him, and their guests were waiting for them. He swallowed hard. He simply could not ask Andy to go back out there.

“Please, Chris, I’m sorry,” Andy sobbed, “I’m sorry.”

“All right, Caro,’ Chris whispered kissing him again, “we’ll talk about it later.”

“Noooooooo!” Andy wailed. “Please! Please!” He clung to Chris and pressed his face into his partner’s chest. Chris held him for another few moments placing his cheek against the top of Andy’s head.

“Go on upstairs, Caro,” he whispered, finally.

“But what about the party?” Andy choked, looking tearfully up at his partner.

“You’re in no shape, my love,” Chris responded softly, “to have to deal with our guests right now.” ‘Especially one certain guest,’ he thought lividly. Out loud he continued, “Everyone will understand. They know you’re not feeling well.”

“But I won’t get to say good-bye to Jake and Eliza!” Andy sobbed, feeling relieved nonetheless that he would not have to face anyone else again tonight.

“They’re going to be around for another few days, Love. You’ll see them tomorrow.”

“But can I just explain why I said it . . .,” Andy returned to the source of his angst, and Chris hushed him bringing his hand caressingly to his face.

“Later, Caro. We’ll talk about it later,” he looked down into Andy’s panicky green eyes. “We have a lot to talk about tonight, my love,” he whispered, “go on upstairs now.” Andy, having no further will to resist, finally obeyed, and with gut wrenching sobs that nearly broke his partner’s heart, he turned and made his way out of the pantry, out of the kitchen and up the stairs. Chris watched him go, wishing he could go with him, and get it all over with now. ‘Maybe he will cry himself to sleep for a little while,’ he thought desolately and tears burned his eyes as he turned back to face the prospect of the freshly brewed decaf and the fifteen empty coffee cups that needed filling.