Another week or two went by and I wrestled with my attitude, more or less successfully. All my brother had to do was raise his eyebrows or whisper, "Beach," in my ear and I tried my best to hold my tongue. Dan congratulated himself on his strategy and shared it with Nate, so soon both Matt and I were turning red at the least look, touch or whisper from either one of them.

The rest of my family looked on in puzzled fascination at this phenomena, and it's likely that Sam and Alex eventually got Dan and Nate to share their secret technique. If so, however, they never said anything to either me or Matt. My parents, uncle and youngest siblings didn't even bother to ask, knowing how tight lipped Nate and Dan could be when it came to me and Matt. They had many times put themselves on the line for us, so perhaps they had earned the right to be just a little parental. In any case, Matt and I, under the watchful eyes of our older brother and cousin, steadily began to improve, and soon we both began to feel happier as we learned mostly to ignore Amy.

We took, instead, to hanging out exclusively with Dan, Alex, Nate and Sam, and Nate and Dan inparticulary often stood between us and Amy, telling her very politely to take her trouble elsewhere. At first my uncle and my parents were just happy for the respite from bickering. Gradually, however, it became clear that the happier Matt and I were, the more miserable Amy was. Cynthia tried to make my uncle and my parents believe that her daughter was feeling excluded, but Matt and I knew differently. By ignoring her, we had taken away her only source of amusement. We knew it was only a matter of time before Amy would try to cause trouble for us again, but with our brothers to shield us, we misjudged the magnitude of the mischief she would still be capable of causing.

I was stretched on my bed in a state of reverie when they found me. I had been writing in my journal, but my pen had long been idol in my hand and, tired of fighting to keep my eyes from closing, I had given myself permission to rest a little. I was very nearly asleep when Sam's light touch caused me to start. I heard my brothers laugh and looked sleepily around to see that they were all there. "Hey," I smiled, rubbing my eyes, "what are you guys doing?"

"First tell us what you're doing," Nate insisted. "You're always writing in that thing."

"Nate, leave her alone," Sam admonished from where she stood over me.

It took me a minute, in my sleepy state, to understand what Nate was referring to. "What this?" I closed my journal and picked it up, grinning at Sam as I did. She grinned back and rolled her eyes.

"Yeah. What are you always writing about in there anyway?" Nathan came farther into the room and then sat down on the end of my bed. I sat up to make room for him.

"I'm sure you'd like to know," I quipped.

"And what's the big deal if I do?" Nate asked.

"Nothing, but it's private," I said more seriously.

"I bet it's a lot of juicy stuff," Nate smirked. "I bet there's a lot of stuff about Matt in there."

"Hey, shut up, Man!" Matt responded coming into the room from the doorway where he was standing. Alex and Dan looked at the ground to keep from laughing and annoyed, I retalliated.

"No," I responded cooly to Nathan. "Mostly it enumerates all my gripes with Dan and Alex." Sam and Matt tried not to smile, but couldn't help themselves. There were few gripes I had with my brothers that they themselves did not know about, but Sam and Matt knew what they were.

"Hey! For real?" Dan responded, no longer laughing. My younger brother made a grab for the diary, but I was ready for him and he was unsuccessful.

"No, I'm kidding," I laughed, still playing keep away with Alex. "Alex, relax! I'm kidding. See, maybe you should all just mind your own business."

"That'll be the day," Sam said sarcastically. I laughed again.

"So, what are you all bugging me for, anyway?"

"We wanted to see if you could pencil us in this afternoon for a hike up Bear Mountain," Nate replied. My heart sank as I looked around at all their hopeful faces, and Dan, reading my expression, tried to head off my refusal.

"Come on Jess. You're honestly not going to pass up a chance to go hiking with us to stay here and write in that diary, are you?"

"No, it's not that."

Alex was sitting beside me on the bed by now and he looked pleadingly at me. "Jess, you have to come!"

Matt walked over and sat on the other side of the bed, next to his brother and looked at me with the liquid blue eyes I could never refuse, "You're not going to leave me alone with them, are you?"

"Come on guys, you know I'd love to go, but I can't."

"Why not?" Sam asked. "Rick's going to be there."

"Rick's going?" I looked up at her and couldn't help being distracted by the news.

"Yeah," Dan smirked and poked Nate. "You wouldn't want to disappoint him, now would you?" Nate grinned and placed a hand on Matt's shoulder. We were cousins and nothing could ever happen between us, but it was still hard for Matt and I to see one another with anybody else.

"Come on, Jess!" Sam continued, "I think Rick is going to bring his brother as well."

I raised my eyebrows at her, "Mike has a girlfriend, Sam, and he's in college."

"Well, I can look can't I? And flirt." We both laughed.

"Oh, for crying out loud," Nate interjected. "Are you coming, Jess, or not?"

"I want to guys, but I promised Carrie and the twins that I'd go with them to the ball park today."

"So, make it another time," Dan said. "They'll understand."

"Dan, I can't. I've already put them off a couple of times. I didn't think we were doing anything today and I promised."

"Jess, come on. It won't be the same if you don't come," Alex pleaded.

"I wish I could. You all know I'd rather go with you, but it's not fair to Carrie, Dennis and Toby to constantly cancel on them to do things that they are not invited to do." There was silence. "Unless, you want to invite them to go with us." That decided the issue.

"Fine. Have a good time!" Nate was clearly annoyed. "We'll be thinking of you." He got up to go.

"Come on Nate, don't be like that," I pleaded. He ignored me and looked at his brother who had not moved.

"Are you coming?" Matt looked at me and smiled.

"Actually, I think maybe I'll stay. Baseball could be just as much fun as hiking."

I grinned at him, "Carrie will be thrilled." He laughed. Nate rolled his eyes, but then my older brother in a surprise move opted out as well.

"I guess we can go again another day," he said. "You guys will need even teams." Then he grinned, "Besides, it's been a long time since I've hung out with those little ingrates. Maybe it could be fun."

"So, let me get this straight! You guys are passing up a chance to go hiking, and Dan you know Susan is going to be there, in order to hang out with those three little brats!" Matt and Dan shrugged.

"Dan," I tried to persuade him, "you should go, especially if Susan's going to be there."

"A lot of people are going to be there, Jess. I'll call Susie and see if she wants to hang out later. It's just feeling more like a baseball day than a hiking day. Besides, what are you guys going to do with just five people? With six, it's possible to play a little. With five, all you can really do is throw the ball around."

He had a point. "Well, if you're sure," I said affectionately. "I just don't want you to regret anything."

"Don't worry," he said and he flashed his cockiest grin. "Besides without me, you and Matt would get your butts kicked." I laughed. It was probably true.

"Well, I'm going hiking!" Nate turned and left in something of a huff. Sam and Alex hung back, undecided.

"I guess I'm going to go too," Sam said finally. "I'd stay if Mike weren't going, but . . ."

"You should go, Sam and have fun! Kiss Rick AND Mike for me."

"Ok," she smiled, "but we'll miss you guys!"

"We'll miss you too!" I replied.

"How about you, kid?" Dan addressed Alex. "What're you gonna do?"

"Man! I guess I'm going to go. If we all back out, Nate's gonna bust something."

"Besides," Sam whispered loudly,"Megan Conley is going . . ,"

"That has nothing to do with it!" Alex protested.

Dan laughed. "Well you guys will have to tell us all about it," he said choosing to let Alex off the hook.

"We will," Sam said. "Have a good time at the ball park."

"Ok, see ya." Alex and Sam left to find Nate, and Matt, Dan and I found ourselves alone.

"So," Matt started, "when does this great expedition take place?"

I shrugged, "I don't know. I figured they'd come and find me when they were ready."

"Ok. Well, in that case what about playing a little more with the truck while we wait?"

"Sounds good to me," Dan responded eagerly. "Did you find anything the other night?"

"No. I told Jess I thought it was the fuel line, but I need to start it to be sure."

"I'll get the keys," Dan volunteered.

"Ok. I'm going to throw a different shirt on, and then I'll meet you downstairs."

"I'll just let Carrie know where we're going to be," I said.

"Ok," Dan replied, "see you guys downstairs." Matt and I followed Dan out of the room and Matt turned into the boys' room to change, while I popped my head into the room I usually shared with Carrie. Carrie was not there, but Amy was lounging on my bed. I gritted my teeth and almost turned away without speaking, but at the last minute I turned back.

"Do you have any idea where Carrie is or the twins?"

"No," she replied. "Why?"

"No reason. Just wondered. If you see them can you let them know that Matt, Dan and I are out by the barn and they can come find us when they're ready?"

"Sure," she said.

"Thanks," I returned and then continued down the stairs to find my brother. Dan was waiting by the door, keys in hand.

"Did you talk to Carrie?" He asked.

"No," I replied. "She wasn't in her room. Maybe I'll just let Mamma know where we're going to be, in case they are looking." So saying, I pushed my way through the swinging door to the kitchen where my mom was already bustling around with the early dinner preparations.

"Mamma?"

"Yeah, Sweetheart?"

"Dan, Matt and I are going to be out by the barn, working on Dan's truck. If Carrie and the twins come looking for us would you let them know where we are?"

"Of course, Sweetie. I'm going to be heading out in a bit to take some things over to the Schwartze's, but if I see them before that I will let them know. Are you three going to be sticking around, or do I need to call Kelly?" Kelly Patterson, my best friend, lived down the road from us and sometimes babysat for Carrie and the twins.

"Actually, I'm guessing Kelly went hiking with Nate, Alex and Sam," I responded, "but we should be around. We're just waiting on Carrie and the twins to go to the park."

"You're all going?" Mamma sounded surprised.

"Yeah, Matt and Dan decided that baseball would be more fun than hiking," I grinned.

"Well, isn't that nice," Mamma raised her eyebrows skeptically. Dan and Matt were not known for their demonstrations of brotherly/cousinly affection towards my younger siblings. Acts of kindness were usually performed grudginly with a surliness not unlike Nathan's, under direct threat from my parents or uncle.

"Jess, come on!" My brother called from the hallway. I grinned again at my mom and she smiled back.

"Well, have fun, Honey. I think it's very nice that the three of you are including your younger brothers and sister for a change."

"Ahh, they're not so bad sometimes," I admitted, as I turned towards the door.

"You know it might be nice if you invited Amy too," my mother suggested casually, as she started to chop the carrots for the stew she was preparing. I paused at the edge of the kitchen and closed my eyes. I knew I should have made my retreat faster.

"I can't, Mamma! I just can't!"

"Why not, Jess? You know, she might be nicer if you just gave her a chance once in awhile. You and Matt have got all your cousins and siblings and she's got no one. I think she's really lonely. It's got to be hard for her as well, Sweetheart! I know she can be tough to deal with, but then you and Matt have got everyone up in arms against her. Maybe if you backed off just a bit, she would too."

My fists tightened at my side and I dug my nails into my palms in an effort to control myself, but could not keep the exasperated tone from my voice as I responded, "If you believe that, Mamma, then she's really gotten to you. Matt and I have done nothing to influence anybody else . . . ."

"AND, if you believe that my dear, you are sorely mistaken," my mother interjected.

"Why do you, Daddy, and Uncle Rob always take her side?" I started to protest.

"I am not taking anybody's side, Jessica . . ."

"Yeah, right!" I snapped and I turned to go.

"Jessica!" I started to push my way through the door. "Jessica Eliza Kane!"

"What, Mamma?" I stopped again.

"Whether or not Amy goes with you today, you are to adjust your tone immediately. Do you hear me?" I didn't answer for a minute. "I said, is that clear?" I still didn't answer. "Jessica!"

"Ok, Mamma. I'm sorry."

"All right, then.Go on." Matt and Dan looked reprovingly at me as I pushed through the door into the hallway. Clearly they had heard everything. Matt had changed into his t-shirt from the other night which was still sporting it's grease spot, and I looked shyly at him, remembering how wonderful and horrible at the same time that night had been. It was a vivid reminder of how precarious our situation was with regards to Amy . I felt my cheeks get hot and I looked down, feeling flustered. Matt took my hand, understanding my feelings and Dan walked out ahead of us, understanding in his own way. Dan and Nate could both be a pain in the butt when it came to me and Matt, but they usually knew when to let it go.

When we reached the back of the barn, Dan started up the truck and the boys became quickly absorbed. Matt was calling all the shots but my brother was an eager participant and I made my way over to the paddock to visit with Gypsy. I climbed up onto the fence and after giving her a proper greeting, turned to watch my brother and cousin again. Matt, Dan and I had hung out so much when my cousins had lived here that we were barely ever apart. Even though Sam was, in most ways, my best friend, I had spent more time with Matt and Dan and if trouble found one of us it usually found us all. That was what my cousin had meant by the heat being evenly dispersed between himself, Dan and I. It made me sad to think that the summer would end and my cousins would leave again. It would be like saying good-bye all over.

It was these thoughts that Matt interuppted when he called to me. "You ok, Jess?"

"Yeah," I tried to smile, "just thinking." There was no point in getting either of the boys thinking on the same line so I tried to cheer up.

"Well you don't think you're just going to sit there and watch do you?" Matt teased. "You did such an excellent job handing me tools the other night. I think I'm about to need your services again."

I grinned and hopped down from the fence. "Why do you have all those tools anyway?" I addressed my brother, "It's not like you know how to use them."

"Hey!" Dan feigned injury, "I do too."

"No, you don't," I laughed. "I doubt you even know what all of them are for."

"Yes, I do!"

"You opened a real can of worms now, Jess," my cousin chided as Dan proceeded to show me each tool, name it and describe its function. "Mind if I borrow that one?" He took the wrench from Dan and slid under the truck as the lecture continued. I tried to attend but was much more interested in watching Matt, and finally my brother gave up.

It wasn't long after that Matt emerged from under the truck and stood up to face us. "Well, it's definitely the fuel line," he said. "I can replace it for you, but I need to pick up a few things first."

"Jess, what do you suppose happened to Carrie and the twins? Do you think they forgot, or changed their minds?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen them all morning. I thought we'd hear from them by now. Mamma knows where we are. She was heading out to the Schwartzes, but I did ask Amy to give Carrie a message."

"Like that'll happen," Matt interjected bitterly.

"True. I wonder if I should go and look for them."

"Well, let's give them a little while more." Dan turned to Matt, "We can root around my Dad's workbench for anything that might be useful, and then if they don't show up, we'll take a drive into town."

"I can't go anywhere, guys," I replied wistfully. "I told Mamma we'd be around to watch Carrie and the twins." Dan and Matt both looked disappointed.

"Well, let's just see," Dan said after a minute. "Maybe they'll show up, but if not a quick trip to town couldn't hurt right? For all we know they went with Mamma."

"No," I said, "you know Mamma would have let us know if that was the case, but you guys don't have to stay.

"Well, we'll give them a little while," Dan repeated. "I would actually rather play ball, but if they're not going to show we may as well spend the time doing something worthwhile." I had to concede. I did not know what had happened to my younger siblings so it sounded like a fair plan. Matt and Dan turned into the barn to raid my father's work bench and I sat down in the cab of the truck to wait either for my brother and cousin to return or for Carrie and the twins to show up. I wondered where they were.

When I finally saw someone coming from the house, though, it was not Carrie, Dennis or Toby. It was my mother. She was coming toward the barn, she was walking fast and she looked mad. I looked around for Dan, alarmed. Then as Mamma got closer I saw, with horror, that she carried the paddle she had been in the habit of using on me and my brothers until we had gotten too old. It had been years since she had spanked me, Dan, or Alex. In fact, the last time had been the time at the beach. From then on, when it was determined that that kind of discipline was needed my father had always handled it. Now, it was clear that either my brother or I was about to revisit our childhood in an extremely unpleasant way, and when the events of the morning were considered, things certainly did not bode well for me.

"Dan!" I called out of habit, looking for his protection. "Dan!" I called again as my mom came up and I saw just how angry she was. My brother came running from the barn with Matt behind him just as my mom reached the truck and took me by the arm.

"Come down here!" She said sternly, pulling me off the seat.

"Mamma?" Dan cried, as he and Matt approached the truck, "What's going on?" His eyes went straight to the paddle.

"What's going on is that your sister has a lot of explaining to do."

"About what Mamma?" I didn't want to cry in front of Matt.

"Your sister and brothers have been waiting all afternoon for you, by themselves, down at the ball park." I looked at Dan and saw his face turn white and tears sprang to my eyes in spite of myself. "Why would you let them go down there by themselves? You know how I feel about that."

"I don't know what happened Mamma I . . ."

"Well, I do Young Lady! You decided you were too busy to be bothered when they were ready to go, so you told them to meet you there and then either forgot about them or blew them off in favor of spending time with Dan and Matt."

"No . . ."

"No? You want to tell me how they came to be at the park by themselves, then?"

"I don't know . . ."

"You don't know! How dare you tell me that kind of lie!" Mamma pulled me toward the old water trough and sat down.

"Mamma, " Dan intervened, "there's some horrible mix up. You know we were waiting for them here!"

"All I know Dan, is that at some point your younger sister and brothers were told that Jessica would meet them down at the ballpark, so they were there all afternoon while your sister was here goofing off with the two of you." She tried to pull me down over her lap and I resisted, embarrassed to have my cousin standing right there.

"Aunt Sara! There's some terrible mistake. We all thought they would come and find us."

"You two boys keep your mouths shut," Mamma admonished as she succeeded in dragging me across her lap,"or I'll spank you too." She gripped my waist then and gave me a few hard spanks with her hand. I squirmed and tried to grab her hand, still more embarrassed than anything. She continued to smack my bottom and slowly I felt the back of my jeans begin to get warm. I gripped the tub to keep from reaching and finally my bottom was so hot that it began to sting and I squirmed to get away. My mother held me in place and began to spank harder.

"Oww, Mamma! Oww! Stop! Please Stop! I didn't do anything!" That made her spank harder.

"What do you mean you didn't do anything? You broke a promise!"

"Oww, Mamma, Oww, Oww, please! You know I'm not like that!"

"Quite frankly Jess, when your cousin is around, I don't know anything anymore! The two of you are two peas in a pod. Always got a chip on your shoulder and a sour look on your face, always convinced the world is out to get you! You both need your bottoms smacked!" She began to spank even harder and faster. My cousin and brother in the meantime were still trying to plead with her, but I became less and less aware of them as the sting in my bottom grew more intense and tears slid down my cheeks. "Oww Mamma, please!" I screamed. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry that . . ." I started and stopped not knowing what to say.

"You're sorry that what?"

"That you're mad!" was all I could think of, and finally she stopped. "All right Jess stand up!" I did so, clutching my bottom and hoping it was over. I was crying now despite my efforts to put on a brave show for my cousin and I dared not look at either him or my brother. "That's all you're sorry for! That I'm mad!?"

"She doesn't have anything else to be sorry for." I think my brother meant to say it under his breath, but I heard it and so did Mamma.

"One more remark like that, Young Man, and you will find yourself, at 17, over my knee as well! Do you understand me?" There was silence. "I said are we clear?"

"Yes Ma'm," my brother returned and fortunately Mamma ignored his tone and turned her attention back to me.

"Take your pants down, Jess!"

"No!" I gasped. "Mamma please! Not in front of Matt!"

"Jess, you and Matt have been spanked in front of one another before . . ."

"But we're 15 now, Mamma."

"You'd never know it from your behavior today! Now do as you're told."

"Mamma please, " I sobbed.

"Do it now!" I started to cry really hard, and with unsteady hands I unbuttoned my jeans and slid them to my knees. Mamma took me back over her knee and the next moment I felt the cool wood of the paddle as Mamma laid it against my thinly covered bottom. "Matthew don't you go anywhere!" she snapped, and I turned, as tears streaked my face, to see my cousin trying to slip quietly away. "You boys stay right here! I want all three of you to understand how fully I disapprove of the lying and scheming that went on this afternoon, and how disgusting I find this cliquy little exclusion of everybody else!"

"Oh, this is fucking bullshit! Aunt Sara, you're making a big mistake!" Matt protested desperately.

"You watch your mouth, and do not try to lecture me, Young Man! OR We'll see whose making a mistake!" With that, Mamma aimed the paddle and then drove it hard into the center of my bottom. I screamed and my cousin and brother renewed their efforts on my behalf. Mamma just continued to spank, ignoring them both. Every smack brought a fresh sting which had just time to settle before the paddle came down again. My bottom was on fire and I tried to reach back, no longer caring about anything but the sting. I could hear that both my cousin and brother were crying now and forgetting the humiliation, I felt comforted by their presence. I squirmed and kicked to no avail and when I reached again Mamma just pinned my wrist behind my back. "Oww, oww! Mamma please! I'm sorry," I sobbed, "I'm so sorry. . . .I didn't do it!" I yelled finally, unable to take it any longer.

Immediately I realized my mistake, even as I felt the paddle stop. Mamma let go of my wrist and I fell to my knees in front of her, clutching my bottom and trying to rub out the burn as I sobbed into her lap. "I'm sorry Mamma, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it!"

"I'm glad to hear it. Stand up!" I thought it was over as I did as I was told and the relief of the moment was so great that it made the horror of her next words impossible to bear. "All right, Young Lady. Since you persist in arguing with me, pull up your pants and get back to the house. I am not getting the results here that I had hoped to get. I guess I will have to remove you from the presence of your brother and cousin, and switch your bare behind!"

"No!" I heard Dan's horrified exclamation and the pitt in my stomach grew bigger.

"Please Mamma! Oh no, please!" I sobbed. "Let's go talk to Carrie and the twins. Please, I'm sorry. I don't know why they would go to the park by themselves, but I did not tell them to . . . please don't switch me, Mamma, I'm sorry. I didn't do it!"

"You will talk to Carrie and the twins later, and you will apologize, but right now you are going to take the punishment you deserve. If something had happened to your brothers and sister at that park you would have been responsible. How would you have felt then? Instead of thinking about that and really being sorry you persist in mouthing off and lying to me. I am going to give you the switching of your life!" I was too overcome to say anything else and I continued to sob as I pulled up my pants. I could hear Matt crying in the back of the truck where he was now huddled, and my brother was trying to collect himself.

"Dan!" she addressed him.

"Mamma?"

"Go and cut me a switch please."

Both my brother and I began to cry harder. Alex, Dan, and I had all experienced a switching at Mamma's hands once or twice when we were younger and for all of us those experiences stood out in our worst memories.

"No, Mamma, please . . . !" Dan protested.

"Mamma, that's not fair. . ." I choked.

"Don't you tell me about what's fair Young Lady! You just get on back to the house!"My brother and I both just stood there.

"Dan," Mamma spoke to him again, "do as I asked please!" Tears were streaming down his face and for the first time I caught his eyes as we looked at one another. Then he looked back at Mamma.

"Mamma, I can't . . ." he started.

"Now, Young Man!"

"Go, Dan," I managed in a choked voice. I did not want him involved. My brother still made no move.

"Daniel, if I get it, you will feel it too."

He hesitated and Mamma stood up, starting to walk toward the back of the barn, where some birch trees grew on the edge of our farm. "Dan!" I wailed.

"Ok!" he sobbed and followed her. She stopped, letting him pass her and when she was sure he would keep going, she turned back to me.

"If I have to tell you again Jess, to get back to the house, I will take down your pants again and paddle your bare bottom until your brother returns and then I will switch you right here in front of your cousin and brother so if you do not want that then Go ON!"

I snuck a quick look at my cousin, who had never left the truck, and then turned miserably toward the house. As I left, I heard my mother address him, "Matthew, come down here please. I want to talk to you." My heart froze, but I didn't dare linger any longer. I slowed my steps, though I didn't turn around and I heard her berating him as I continued toward the house.

"Matthew, I am not happy with your attitude at all!"

"Aunt Sara . . ."

"Now, I know that you've been through a lot this past year, and I know how close you are to Jessica. . ."

"If you would just listen . . ."

"Let me finish!" Matt grew quiet. "Despite the circumstances, I consider the chips you and Jess have been carrying around on your shoulders to be inexcusable. You are making everyone around you unecessarily uncomfortable and though I have tried to be patient, my patience is now growing thin. For a brief period it seemed that Nate and Dan had gotten the two of you under control, somehow, but after today, I can see I was wrong. I have given it a lot of thought, and since your father's strap does not seem to be getting through to you, if you cannot manage to adjust your attitude immediately, I will handle the matter the way I believe your mother would have handled it, with a blistering bare bottomed spanking over my knee."

For a moment all was quiet and I swallowed hard trying to control my sobs, in an attempt to hear the scene behind me which was slowly becoming farther away. I brushed at the tears that ran rapidly down my face and bit my lip, praying that Matt would keep his head. My mom had pushed all his buttons. When after a minute, he still hadn't answered my mom prompted, "Have I made myself clear?"

"My mother never really believed in spanking!" Matt glowered, "And you don't know what you're talking about! Why can't you fucking listen? You haven't heard one fucking word that Dan, Jess or I have said. Nobody ever fucking listens to me!" My hands flew to my face and I spun around horrified, just in time to see my mother drag Matt by his arm to the water trough and sit down.

"Is that a fact? Well, apparently, you were not listening to me either!" Matt fought her.

"You cannot spank me! I am too old, and you are not my mother!" My mother paused, seeing that Matt was too strong for her to master without his consent. Without taking her hand from his arm she changed her tone to one of patient determination.

"Do you think your mother would have wanted you to talk to me that way?" That did get Matt's attention and my mother went on, "What do you think she would have done, if she were here?" Matt was quiet for a moment and he looked away from my mother.

"I don't know!" he sobbed, finally, confusion creeping into his voice. "If my mom was here, none of this would be happening."

"That is precisely the point, Sweetheart, your mother is not here anymore, but I am and your father and your uncle. You are our responsibility, now. Don't you think we all want what is best for you?"

"I guess," Matt answered in a choked up voice. My mom still had hold of his arm.

"And don't you think that we are always thinking of what your Mom would have wanted for you?"

"I guess," Matt said again.

"Well, Honey, I know that this is hard, but it's time you learned that your mom's death does not give you carte blanche to run your mouth and make life as miserable for everyone else as you feel it is for you."

"You're not being fair!" Matt persisted stubbornly. "I have really been trying, but no one wants to listen to me. And you're still not listening now. There's some kind of mistake . . ."

"Yes there is, Young Man! And you made it when you mouthed off to me just now."

"I still do not believe my mom would have spanked me," he insisted.

"Well, you are sorely mistaken!" my mom returned. "Did you ever try talking to her like you just talked to me?"

"She never gave me cause, " Matt fired back.

"Well, neither have I, Young Man, and if you resist me much longer I will send you back to the house with Jess and give you both a good dose of the switch. This is not just about today! It's about the attitude you and your cousin have both had from day one of your arrival. You think your mother would have put up with that behavior?"

"She wouldn't have had to!" Matt shot back again.

"Oh yeah? You never talked back to your mom? You were always a perfect angel when she was alive?" Matt shrugged.

"Matt you and Jess have always brought out the best and worst in each other. Don't you remember our beach vacation three years ago? The two of you were unbearable. The whole time, throwing tantrums, mouthing off, making everyone's life miserable except each other's. Do you remember what happened when you went too far and pushed your cousins in the surf?" I could feel my face getting hot and Matt was turning red too, as we once again remembered that day that we both wanted to forget. "You and Jessica were both sorry the moment it happened. Your mom and I could both see that, and you did the right thing by going in after them, but Matt the two of you were out of control and your mom and I both let it go too far that time. That is what this is about, an attitude adjustment for both you and Jessica that will keep you from going too far. And Young Man, if it makes you feel any better, I knew your mother before you were born, and I am aware of her position on spanking in general, but if she had heard you talk to me the way you did right now I am one-hundred percent sure that she would have blistered your bottom, and we probably would have ended up sharing that switch Dan's gone to cut."

The thought that his mother really might have spanked him caused Matt to hesitate and the moment's indecision was long enough for my mother to pull him down over her knees. Before Matt could further resist, she had placed her leg over his, and gripped his waist with her free hand.

"Aunt Sara . . ., "Matt protested. I could hear the edge of panic as Mamma picked up the paddle, and rested it against his bottom.

"Matthew, you have been asking for this for a long time. I think it is just what you need," she rubbed the paddle firmly against his bottom to reinforce her words. Matt, no longer in a position to argue, put his head down on his arms, and Mamma raised the paddle, looking up as she did. She caught sight of me and I turned and fled. I slammed into the house and up the stairs, my heart racing, my stomach aching. I entered the room Sam and I were sharing, slammed the door, threw myself on my bed and sobbed. I thought of the paddling my cousin was getting and clutching my pillow, I sobbed harder.

Dan had, meanwhile, gone in search of the switch as Mamma had required him to, but had been unable to bring himself to cut one. He was on the point of turning back, no matter what it meant for him, when he heard the twins coming up behind him. He brushed his arm quickly over his eyes in an attempt to master his emotions, and the next moment they were calling to him. "Dan, hey Dan!" Dan turned and his expression took the twins by surprise. "Are you ok?"

"Fine!" growled Dan. They didn't catch the warning in his tone.

"What are you doing down here without all your side kicks?" inquired Toby.

"I JUST WANTED TO BE ALONE, OK!" Dan snapped.

"Ok. Just asking," Toby retorted. "Have you seen Jess?"

"No! No I haven't seen Jess! You little fuck! You got any other questions?" Toby and Dennis recoiled.

"God! What's up your butt?!" returned Dennis. Dan, having had enough, grabbed him by the collar.

"You really want to know, you little shit!!? Don't you have any conscience? Did you come down here to gloat or something?" The twins were scared now. Dan rarely directed his temper at them in this way.

"Mamma!" Toby shouted. "Mamma!!! Dan's going to beat up Dennis! MAMMA!!!" Toby's shout brought Dan to his senses and he shoved Dennis away.

"Go on! Scram, you little twerps or I will beat you up!"

"What is your problem?" Toby repeated.

Mamma, hearing Toby's call, left off Matt's spanking, sending him to the house with the promise of more to follow if he didn't shape up. She came around the corner of the barn just as Dan was about to answer.

"Toby, Dennis everything is all right now. Go on and find somewhere else to play while I talk to your brother. Stay away from the house for awhile though, ok?"

"Yes, ma'm," Dennis answered.

"Now, you're in trouble," Toby muttered smugly.

"That will do, Toby. Go on," Mamma ordered again. Not daring to argue, the twins took off with a smug backwards glance at Dan. When they were gone Mamma silently put out her hand without speaking or looking at my brother. Slowly, Dan withdrew his army knife from his pocket and handed it to her. She took it, and still without a word, went to the nearest tree, and cut herself a sturdy switch. She stripped it of its leaves and when she was satisfied, she turned back to my brother. "Turn around and bend over," she commanded sternly. Without a word, Dan did as he was told. "This is where it stops!! Do you understand me? I am sick to death of the attitude I am getting from the three of you and I have had it!" Dan was quiet. "Do you hear me?" Mamma brushed the switch against his legs and Dan tensed.

"Yes, ma'm," he responded quietly.

Mamma drew back her arm and my brother gripped his ankles and closed his eyes in an effort to prepare himself. The first cut, however, stung more than he had remembered and he bit down hard on his lip trying to hold back the tears. The next two cuts brought the tears spilling over his cheeks and the fourth one made him cry out.

"Oww!! Mamma!" Two more stinging strokes followed. "Oww!! Mamma! Oww! Please!"

"Young man, you gave me attitude, you disobeyed me, and then threatened your brothers using the most profane language possible. This is what that kind of behavior will earn you every time, seventeen or not! Is that understood?"

"Yes ma'm," Dan choked, and he took a deep breath trying to brace himself for the punishment still to follow.

While my brother was getting his, my cousin who had reached the house a couple minutes before made his way quietly up the stairs to my room. I heard the soft knock and turned my head on the pillows as Matt gently pushed open the door. I sat up when I saw him and started to cry again, despite a strong desire not to. My cousin came to the side of my bed, sat down and gathered me in his arms. I cung to him. "Matt, I'm sorry!! I'm so sorry!"

"Shh!! It's not your fault, Baby Girl! None of this is your fault! We are going to figure this out, I promise you! Shhh . . . " I was too overcome to say more and I continued to cry on his shoulder, thankfully unaware of the scene at the barn.

Dan was weeping bitterly by the time Mamma finished with him, and finally she told him to stand up. He did so slowly, biting his lip and brushing at his tears. Mamma reached out to brush some of the tears from his face and her hand lingered on his wet cheek, as he looked sorrowfully at her. "Do not put me in this position again, Son," she said softly. Dan was too overcome to speak and he just shook his head. Mamma accepted his response and with a final caress of my brother's cheek, she turned toward the house. Dan limped to keep up with her. "Mamma, Please!" he finally sobbed, "Can't that be enough? Can't we just let it go at that? Jess really didn't do anything." Mamma stopped and looked at her oldest son incredulously.

"No, Dan. We can't! Your sister has earned the medicine she is about to get, just as you and your cousin earned yours, and if you persist in lying to me, I will have to punish you again."

"You punished Matt too?" Dan inquired softly, momentarily distracted. "Why?"

They had entered the house by now, and as they started up the stairs Matt and I could hear their conversation. "Because Dan, I am at the end of my rope. Jessica and Matt have both been asking for it ever since the summer began, and you know it. You and Nathan have done an excellent job recently of keeping them in check, but obviously whatever you've been doing is not enough. I'm getting real tired of their fresh mouths and the constant sour puss attitude. I know Amy and Cynthia are not their favorite people, but they are our guests and lately it doesn't seem that they are making an effort to be pleasant to anyone, but you all." I clung to my cousin and he held me tight. "I am not impressed with their sauciness or their lack of obedience and now it is going to stop!"

"Ok, Mamma!" my brother was desperate to slow her down. "I know they're sorry! They've been trying so hard! Please can't we just let it go?" He was crying again. They had reached my bedroom, and I could hear him through the door.

"I'm sorry, Dan, but their behavior today does not convince me that they are trying at all." Mamma tried the knob and found it locked. Matt had locked it behind him. I sobbed and clung to him more tightly. He kissed my head. Tears were running down his face as he held me.

"We have to let her in, Matt," I choked. "I love you for trying, but she will take it out on Dan if we don't and it won't help me in the end."

"Jessica Eliza! You open this door right now!!" Matt didn't move, just pulled me closer and pressed his cheek against the top of my head. "Jessica!!" I could hear her anger mounting.

"Matt, please . . ."I whispered. I tried a new tact, knowing full well that both my brother and cousin would take all the heat on themselves if they could spare me just a little. "The others will be back soon. Let's try to have the scene overwith before then . . . please!" My mother was still rattling away and I could hear my brother becoming more and more agitated.

At first Matt tightened his arms still more around me, but then his grip relaxed a little, "All right Baby Girl! You know I love you and would do anything for you!" His words came out in a sob and he kissed my forehead again.

"I know," I whispered and I grabbed his hand as he let go of me and started for the door. He turned the lock and opened it, but only enough to let himself squeeze through. Knowing immediately what was in his head I called to him. "Matt please!" As the door opened wider I caught a glimpse of my brother who slid in beside Matt, creating a barrier between me and my mom.

"Matthew! Do not start with me!"

"Aunt Sara, if you would just listen!" Then my mom lost her temper as she tried to push her way through Dan and Matt and was thwarted.

"Mamma Please!"

"Do not Mamma Me! And I have listened to everything I intend to listen to today!! I listened to the two of you making flimsy pleas and excuses and smarting off at the barn, and I have already had a private discussion with each of you about your behavior . . ." Matt glanced at Dan and Dan shrugged. The implications of my mom's statement hit me like a truck, and sobbing I got off the bed and made my way to the door, determined that neither of the boys should suffer anymore because of me. "If we need to have a further discussion, believe me we will. We can discuss it all you want, but in the end Jessica will have her fair share!" She tried again to get in the room, and again Matt and Dan pushed her back. I could tell she was furious.

"Guys . . ." my voice was barely a whisper and they did not hear me, though I stood right behind them now. "Guys . . ." I said it a little louder, and they turned to look at me. "It's ok, " I whispered. "Let her in. Let's just get it over with. Ok?" Matt's eyes filled with tears and a look of anguish pierced Dan's expression. "Please," I continued, "you're only putting off the inevitable and making it harder . . ." my voice broke and I began to sob again, causing them both to lose it too, "and I can't bear to be the cause of anymore punishment to either of you, ok?" I touched Dan's hand and drew him slowly inside the room, away from the doorway, giving Mamma enough room to get by. Matt did not try to stop her this time and she came in and stood to the side waiting. I wrapped my arms around my brother and held him as he broke down completely. I pressed my head against his shoulder and he clung to me.

"It's so unfair, Jess! It's so unfair!"

"I know," I sobbed, "but I'll be ok! I love you guys!" I looked over at Matt. "Just keep everyone else away from me, today. Ok? And if we can keep Alex from . . ."I knew I was wishful thinking as I looked at the smoldering fury in both their faces and I didn't even finish my thought. They would have their revenge and they would involve everybody.

"All right, that's enough! This is ridiculous!" Mamma interjected. "Such a fuss over what is a more than well deserved punishment." Her tone told me she was affected all the same and I reached out to Matt, drawing him in and clinging to both the boys, all the more tenderly because I knew in the end that their complete melt down had saved me from at least some of my mother's wrath.

"Go on," I coaxed, kissing them both, "I'll be ok." Dan kissed my forehead, Matt squeezed my hand and then they were gone. I knew they had not gone far. I could still hear them both crying and I could see their shadow as they sank down by the door, but the other side of the door seemed a long ways away as I turned to face my mother.

"Well, Jessica, that was certainly quite a scene! I'm glad you had the sense to cut them off. They would only have made it worse."

"I know," I whispered, loving them for their interference all the same.

"Well, are you ready?"

I swallowed and nodded. I was wearing my white cotton night gown now. I had changed into it shortly after coming back to my room, and not long before Matt showed up. I had expected both my brother and cousin at some point, though I was not sure if it would be before or after I saw my mom. I had wanted to be ready for my mom, so she would not be angry, plus my jeans were tight and rubbing against my already sore bottom. I had, however, also wanted to preserve some of my modesty in case one or both of the boys checked in. So, I had chosen my favorite, comfy white nightgown. I had already stacked the pillows on my bed, and now I just wanted this over with. I took a deep breath and walked over to my bed. Without being told, I arranged myself on the pillows and waited, hugging the pillow I usually slept on tightly to my chest and burying my face.

I heard my mom approach my bed. I felt a slight breeze as she flipped up my nightgown, exposing my already pink bottom. I squeezed the pillow tighter and hot tears stung my eyes as she began to lecture. It was then that I caught sight, through my blurred vision, of Mr. Flops, resting at the head of my bed. Mr. Flops was a stuffed bunny Dan and Matt had given me when I had to be hospitalized for Pneumonia a year ago last winter. They had spent endless hours, then, entertaining me and making me laugh. Oh how I wanted them now. I reached for Mr. Flops and pressed my wet face against him, drying my tears against his fur. I held him to me and tried to hold back the ache in my throat, listening intently to the sobs of my brother and cousin as they came through the crack of the door.

All this time, my mother had been lecturing, but now the lecture was winding down, " . . . in short, I am very disappointed in you, Young Lady! You not only disobeyed me today, but you involved your brother and cousin in your deceipt and worst of all, placed your youngest siblings in a perilous situation. I hope you will think about that next time you feel the inclination to blow them off for plans better suiting your own inclination."

"Yes, Mamma, I'm sorry!" Tears streaked my face. I knew it was pointless to argue now.

"Very well. What's done is done. I am sorry to have to give you this whipping, Jessica, but you have earned it, so let's just get it over with." I felt the switch as Mamma brushed it against my skin, and my bottom clenched. The next moment, however, I heard a sound that distracted me. A sound that was not comforting, as the sound of Matt and Dan's soft crying had become, but horrifying. It was the sound of a car, and then another car pulling into the driveway, and then there were voices, so many voices. The others had returned and it sounded as though everyone on the outing had accompanied them. I heard the crying from the hallway pause and knew that Dan and Matt had heard the arrival as well. I clutched Mr. Flops tightly, praying my brother and cousin would be able to head everyone off. Then I thought of nothing else as I heard the swish of the switch, and I shrieked as it cut into my bottom.

The cut had caught me off guard and I cursed myself as there was a definite pause in the hubub of activity outside. I bit hard into my pillow as tears coursed down my face, determined to take the next one quietly, but the adrenaline of the situation had catapaulted Dan and Matt into action and the next moment decibal 10 music was blaring from my brother's room. I sobbed gratefully into my pillow and heard nothing more from downstairs.

"Come on Man, we have to head them off, or they'll all be up here," Matt sobbed, "especially now. They'll think we're having a party."

"I know Man, I know," Dan was still crying too, pressing his fingers to his eyes and swiping at the tears that ran down his face in an effort to get them under control, "but I just can't face everyone right now. I'll be useless. They'll read me in a second." Matt was quiet for a moment as he watched Dan. He too was tryng to calm down and fight back the tears.

"All right Man, I'll do it," he said brokenly after a moment.

"Ok, " Dan's voice was husky and Matt turned to go.

"Matt?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks, Man." Matt tried a slight smile, but dared not trust his voice. Instead he turned quickly and left. When he got into the hallway, he could hear people mobilizing to enter the house. He could hear laughter. How odd that sounded right now. They had been standing around in groups, talking, waiting perhaps for one or all of us to come out, but now it was clear, having heard the music, that they were getting ready to come in. Matt rushed to the bathroom, splashed cold water quickly over his face and dried it on a towel, trying to pull it together enough to face our siblings and friends.

When Matt had pulled himself together, as best as possible, he made his way out of the bathroom and down the stairs to the rather large group of friends and acquaintences who had gathered outside.

Few of our friends were missing from the ecclectic group Matt was now attempting to face. Almost all of them had gone on the hike, and most of them anxious to see Matt after the year's absence, had been persuaded to come by the house afterwards. Among them were, Rick Sterling (Dan's best friend) and his brother, Kelly Patterson (my best friend), all the Schwartzes (Katie, Jimmy and Tanya), Alex's most recent crush, Megan Conley, and Dan's girlfriend, Susie. They had returned in high spirits and when they caught sight of Matt they all began talking at once. Rick came forward to extend a hand. "Hey Man, it's good to see you! You guys have sure been missed this past year."

"Rick." Matt came down the porch stairs and took his hand firmly and in the general excitement, few picked up on his glum tone. There were three people, however, who noticed it immediately. Sam, Alex and Nate all turned from their separate conversations to look at him inquiringly, but before he could say anything, Rick continued. "Where is that saucy little cousin of yours, and her scoundrel of a brother? It was our understanding that there might be a ball game going on so we swung by the park . . . ," his voice trailed off. There was no mistaking the expression on Matt's face now, and after a moment of silence Nate spoke.

"Is everything ok?" Matt was unable to answer, so he just shook his head, and Nate strode over, taking him by the arm and ushering him to the side of the house. Everyone went as politely as possible back to conversations they were no longer interested in, and Sam and Alex made their way awkwardly over to Matt and Nathan. Matt struggled to control himself as Sam, Nate and Alex waited, but tears began to streak his cheeks again. "What's going on, Bro?" Nate asked quietly.

"Jess is in trouble," Matt managed.

"For what?" Nate continued in the same gentle, soothing way. Sam put an arm around Alex who had gone white. Matt shrugged, and looked away.

"It's all some stupid misunderstanding. Aunt Sara thinks that Jess intentionally left Carrie and the twins stranded at the ball park all afternoon, by themselves."

"What!?" Alex interjected in a rare moment of temper. "SHE WOULD NEVER DO THAT!" Conversation stopped again.

"Alex . . ." Nate tried to quiet him.

"NO! She would never do that!" He lowered his voice, but remained determined, "We have to fix this before things get any worse." Matt bit his lip and looked away. The group around them had ceased to pretend interest in anything else, now.

When Matt finally looked back, he looked at Alex and his voice broke as he said, "I'm afraid things couldn't get much worse, Bud."

"No!" Sam tried to pull Alex close as he absorbed this, but he pushed her roughly away. "It's not fair!" he screamed. "It's not fair!" Then he turned and ran for the house.

"Alex!" Sam called, but he didn't stop. On his way in he encountered Carrie and the twins who were coming to greet the Schwartzes (Katie and Tanya were their age).

"Alex, what's wrong?" Carrie inquired, alarmed by Alex's unusual expression of fury.

"As if you didn't know, you little snot!" Matt hissed at her from the side.

"Just stay away from me! You lying little brat!" Alex pushed past her and slammed the door.

Matt followed Alex, stopping only long enough to glower at Carrie, "Amy's really rubbed off on you hasn't she, Carrie?" With that he entered the house allowing the screen to slam shut behind him. Tears stung Carrie's eyes and shocked silence fell over the rest of the group.

Soon, there were mutterings of, "What's that about?" and "What's going on?" Carrie began to cry and Toby put his arm around her. He and Dennis seemed as confused and shell shocked as anyone.

Nate put an arm around Sam, who looked as if she'd just been socked in the stomach, and then turned to address our friends. "Well, guys, it looks like there's not going to be a ball game today. So, maybe it would be best for us to call it a day until we get everything straightened out."

"Nate, what's going on?" Rick's voice revealed his growing concern.

"I'm not really sure, myself," Nate admitted. "There seems to be some sort of misunderstanding."

"What do you mean?" The question came from more than one quarter and Nathan grew impatient.

"That's all I know, " he repeated, "and to be honest it's sort of a family matter. So, thank you all for your concern, but you will have to ask Dan and Jess your questions. What they share with you is their business." That was enough to make most of the group disperse (the majority of them to their own nearby houses), but our closest friends remained. Rick would not budge, his brother waited for him, and Kelly and Susie had not left either.

"Nate, I'm sorry to pry. I mean I know it's family business and everything but . . ."

"Oh, come on, Man," Nate returned, "you know I didn't mean you three. You guys practically are family. At any rate, I know that between Dan and Jess, you all know every detail of every little thing that goes on in this house. I just didn't want all those other busy bodies hanging around, just for a story to tell."

"So, what is going on, Nate?" Susie asked worridly.

"Unfortunately, my answer is still the same, Suze," he replied, his tone matching her own. "Jess is apparently in some trouble, but I hardly understand myself what it's all about. It just doesn't make any sense."

"Well, what is Jess in trouble for, supposedly?" Rick asked.

"Well, theoretically, she left Carrie and the twins stranded at the ball park all afternoon while she, Matt and Dan were hanging out."

"But, I thought you said . . ."

Nate glanced over to where Carrie was still sobbing on Toby's shoulder and Dennis was looking awkwardly on. They had taken a seat on the porch steps but Carrie's sobs had not quieted. If anything she was becoming more and more hysterical. Nate lowered his voice as he responded to Rick, "I did. They were, all three, definitely planning on going with those little pain in the necks to play ball. That is why they didn't come hiking with us, just as I told you. So I'm very confused. I think, though, that it is time to get some answers."

The others watched as Nate walked over to Carrie and the twins and in a sudden moment of affection, spoke gently to his little cousin. "What's this? What's this? Come on." Nate bent and scooped her up from the step. She wrapped her arms around his neck and sobbed. He carried her up the steps and then sat on the porch swing with her. She just clung to him and cried, and he rocked her gently in the swing waiting for her to become quiet. He waited quite sometime as everyone looked on.

"I don't understand why everyone's so mad!!!" she sobbed. "I didn't do anything."

"Well, Sweetie, you and your brothers got Jess in quite a bit of trouble, now, didn't you? But you know Mattie and Alex. They'll get over it. It's just going to take a little time."

"Jess is in trouble?" Dennis piped up, surprised.

"Well that could explain why Dan was so pissed this afternoon," Toby said, as if a light had just dawned on him. "But we had nothing to do with that."

"Tell me what happened this afternoon," Nate encouraged. So Toby and Dennis recounted their run-in with Dan.

"But we didn't know Jess was in trouble, and we certainly didn't mean for her to be! It wasn't our fault!" Carrie was becoming hysterical again and her next words were hard to understand.

"Carrie, slow down Sweetie! Good, now take a deep breath. Good. Now let's start at the beginning. First, tell me why you told your mother that Jess left you at the ball park all afternoon." Carrie looked up confused and then looked at Toby and Dennis for help.

"Well, she did," Toby said simply. "Mamma found us walking home from the field and wanted to know why we were by ourselves, so we told her. Jess had promised to meet us at the ballpark and then never had. It was kind of mean . . .I mean not that we wanted to get her in trouble or anything, but we're not even supposed to be there by ourselves so . . ."

"Precisely!" Nate agreed. "Now, we're getting somewhere. If you weren't supposed to be there by yourselves then why were you?"

"Because Jess was supposed to meet us there," Dennis replied.

"Ah, now see. That's a lie." Dennis, Carrie and Toby all looked genuinely surprised, and Nate looked sternly at each of them, lastly into Carrie's tearful face. "Do you know how I know that's a lie?" All three shook their heads. "Because early this morning Sam, Alex, Dan, Matt and I went to find Jess, who was dozing in her room and writing in her diary. Do you know why we went to find her?" They shook their heads again. "Because we all wanted her to come hiking with us, more than anything. But she said she couldn't. Do you know why she said she couldn't?"

"Because she was going to play baseball with us?" Carrie said timidly.

"That's right . . ."

"Well, why didn't she come, then?" Toby demanded irritably. Nate ignored him and the others waited quietly.

"Do you know what happened then, Carrie?" She shook her head. "Dan and my dumb brother decided they would rather stay and play ball with you all too," he started to get just a little impatient. "So you see, they were all planning on playing. We all know . . .," he indicated everyone in general with his hand, "that they were planning on playing. We even stopped by the ballpark on the way back, thinking we would play too. But I guess you know . . . there was no game."

"Well I don't know what happened!" Toby insisted, "But we're not liars! Jess was supposed to meet us there!"

"You keep saying that!" Nate grew very impatient, now, "But Dan, Jess and Matt all know as well as you do that you're not allowed to be there by yourselves, so why would any of them tell you to meet them there! It flat out doesn't make sense!!"

"Oh, God!!" Toby looked like he'd been hit by a bus, and he went white as a sheet.

"What??!!" Sam and Nate exclaimed together.

Toby glanced at Dennis. "Geeze, I didn't even think of that!" Dennis looked down at the ground, digging into it with the toe of his shoe.

"WHAT?!" Sam and Nate demanded again.

"Well, Jess didn't exactly tell us she'd meet us at the park."

"Well, who did!? Not Dan or Matt."

"No . . ."

"Well wh . . .oh my god!!" Nate started, and at that moment the same thought occured to Sam.

"That fucking bitch! I'll kill her!!" Sam screamed. "That's it! We've got to stop this before it goes any further!"

"No, Sam! NO!" Nate leapt off the porch swing, leaving a startled Carrie to herself, and intercepting Sam as she stormed toward the house. "What do you think you're going to do?"

"Tell Aunt Sara the truth!"

"You don't think Matt and Dan tried that!? If she didn't believe them, why is she going to believe us now?"

"But it's so unfair, Nate! It's so unfair! We have to do something! Matt and Dan didn't have the whole truth before, maybe . . ."

"No, Sam. Now look, we have to be reasonable here. Let's take a minute and think about this!"

"Umm . . .guys," Suzie interjected timidly. "What's going on?"

"Amy," the twins answered together. "She told us that Jess had given her a message for us, that she was just finishing up with something and to go ahead to the park, and she'd follow us very soon." It never occurred to us to question her.

"Oh No!! I'm so Sorry!!!" Carrie started to cry again.

"Oh, Sweetie, it's not your fault!" This time Sam went and sat next to her wrapping her in her arms. "That's just how Amy operates, and when Matt, Dan and Alex know the whole story they will not think anything is your fault either!"

"And that's our best plan of action," added Nate.

"What is?" inquired Sam, confused.

"To acquaint Matt, and Dan with these circumstances as soon as possible."

"Why?" asked Rick, puzzled.

"Because, can any of you imaginine a better plan of revenge on Amy than just sicking a completely furious Dan and Matt on her?" There was a gleam in Nate's eye now.

"But Nate, they really might kill her," Sam spoke up with fascetious concern.

"NAAH! We just won't leave them alone until they are cool-headed enough to plot a proper revenge.

"I don't know, Nate," Sam was more serious now, "they'll go balistic!"

"Oh, like they won't anyway?" He turned to Rick, Susie and Kelly who were looking utterly lost and confused. "Sorry that you walked into this guys. There's a little more going on here than there is time to explain, but I'm sure you'll hear all about it from Dan and Jess, and probably sooner than later. I don't want you to feel like we're kicking you out or excluding you. It's just that . . ."

"No Man, we understand. Some things are just better left to family."

"Thanks, Man." Our friends turned to leave, walking back toward Mike's car in a sober silence that strongly contrasted the mood surrounding their arrival.

Our sister, brothers and cousins watched them go and when they were gone, Nate looked at Sam and raised his eyebrows, determinedly, "All right, it's Show Time!" He looked at Carrie and the twins, "You three ready?"

"For what?" demanded Toby.

"To tell your story to Matt and your brothers."

"But they're all so mad!!" cried Carrie, dismayed.

"We'll be with you," soothed Sam, "and we know the truth now."

"Yeah, we won't abandon you to the lion's den," smirked Nate. "Come on."

"Oh, NO . . .I'm not going up there! Not after this afternoon!" Dennis insisted.

"Well, I hate to disappoint you, but yes you are," Nate returned and with that he took each of the twins by an arm and easily moved them along.

"Nate! Please!" Dennis resisted a little because he was scared. Toby, on the other hand was sullen, but more or less cooperative. When Carrie saw how easily Nate mastered our brothers, she followed quietly of her own accord with an encouraging arm from Sam to guide her. When they were finally standing in front of the door to the boys' bedroom, Sam knocked. She had to knock several times, either because the music, still blaring, was too loud for them to hear anything inside or because the company inside did not want to be disturbed. At last, Dan opened the door. He scowled when he saw our younger siblings and narrowed his eyes at Nate, but being in no mood for an argument he opened the door to let them in and closed it again after them. Matt and Alex were both laying face down on their beds. Neither one acknowledged the newcomers. Dan went back to the computer where he pretended to be occupied with a game he was playing, and for a moment nobody spoke. Dennis and Toby made a mutual rush for the door, but Sam blocked it, holding a petrified Carrie in front of her.

"Hmm . . .hmm . . .," Nate began, "I think we can turn the music down a little now, Man," he said reaching for the dial on Dan's stereo. "Family is all that's left." I let out a piercing scream just as Nate turned the volume low and the room seemed to fall even more silent as Dan leapt up, shoved Nate's hand off the dial and turned the music back up. He did not, however, turn it as high. Alex, in that same moment began to cry again and stuffed a pillow over his head to drowned out the sound. Matt didn't move, just lay silently stricken, tears streaming down his face.

"Are you satisfied?" snapped Dan.

"Sorry," Nate replied sincerely.

"What do you want? And why did you bring them up here?" Dan demanded accusingly. Sam squeezed Carrie's shoulders as my little sister pressed against her.

"Because Sam and I thought they had something to say that the three of you should hear."

"Yeah?!" Dan went back to his computer and pretended to be reabsorbed, "Well, if it doesn't start with ‘I'M' and end with ‘sorry,' I'm not interested."

"Oh, I think you will be!"

"Whatever," Dan retorted. He looked then at Toby and Dennis for the first time, "Well, if you punks have something to say, you better make it fast. I'm not in a real good mood for game playing!" He was addressing the twins, but it was Carrie who spoke. Surprising everyone, she burst into tears.

"First we do want to say we're sorry!! We're so very sorry!! We never meant for Jess to get in trouble!" Carrie was sobbing now and Matt sat up in surprise and looked at her. Only Alex remained motionless under his pillow. "I know how mad you all are," she continued as Matt and Dan both stared at her, "and you have every right to be! And we just wanted to say we're sorry!!" Matt turned then, putting his head down in his hands to hide his tears, "We're so Sorry!" Carrie said again.

"Yeah, even though it wasn't our fault," muttered Toby bitterly. Without warning Dan flew out of his chair, collared Toby and forced him into the wall, holding him up and pressing his face into his.

"What was that, punk? It wasn't your fault? Tell me, because I'd really love to know! How's it not your fault!!??" Even Alex was sitting up now, and Matt was on his feet. He made a move to go to Toby's defense but Nate laid a hand on his arm.

"Well, for one thing, Jess really didn't show up to the ballpark!" Dennis leaped to his twin's defense.

"Well that's because we were waiting for you . . . to come and get us . . . FROM THE BARN!" Dan screamed. Dennis paled.

"But we didn't know that!" Carrie sobbed.

"So, WHAT? You thought you'd just wander down to the park by yourselves!" Matt started to lose his patience again too. "You'd just stroll on down there, knowing you're not allowed to be there by yourselves!! That's a fucking great idea!! Why didn't you look for us first?!!"

"We DID!!" Screamed Dennis and he began to cry too. "We did look for you!!"

"Well, either you're not very bright, or you didn't look very hard!" shouted Dan. "I mean how many places could we have been? But no!! You couldn't bother looking! You had to be the big shots and go down there by yourselves . . .!!"

"And then you had to make up some vicious lie to save your own skins!!" Even Alex's temper flared again. "Instead of just admitting that you did something you weren't supposed to, you let Mamma think that Jess simply blew you off to hang out with Matt and Dan. The funny thing is, she was ready to blow us all off this morning to hang out with the three of you! Do you have any idea how much trouble she's in?" Carrie and the twins were all crying hard now and only Toby found the words to respond.

"Well, obviously you've already made up your minds what the truth is!! So maybe you don't want to hear the real truth!!" Carrie and the twins tried again to leave but Nate and Sam blocked their way.

"All right now! Everybody just calm down!!" Nate commanded. "Do you three feel better now? Did that help Jess at all? Do you have anything else to say?" he addressed Dan, Matt and Alex. Dan dropped Toby and turned on him, "What? You want to start with me too, Dan? That's fine! Come on!!" Dan hesitated and then just sank down onto the end of his bed, putting his hands over his face. Sam went and wrapped her arms around him, leaving Carrie and the twins in Nate's care, as they stared wide eyed at our older brother. Dan just clung to Sam and sobbed.

"Good. Are we done?" Nate repeated, breaking the stunned silence. "Maybe now, you will all be ready to really hear what these guys are saying. None of it adds up."

"I just don't understand why you couldn't have asked someone where we were," Matt replied.

"We did ask somebody," Dennis replied quietly.

"Oh yeah," Matt challenged. "Who?"

"Amy."

"But Amy knew . . ." Matt stopped and looked at his brother. Nate raised his eyebrows.

"Of course! I should have fucking known! I SHOULD HAVE FUCKING KNOWN! It all makes complete sense now! Damn it! Why didn't I see it coming!?" Matt was working himself into a rage again. "Dennis! Tell me exactly what that little ho said to you!!"

Dennis responded tenatively watching Matt's mounting anger. Dan was, in the meantime growing calmer as he listened intently to the conversation. Sam still had her arms around him. "She said that Jess was busy, finishing up a few things, but that she had wanted us to go ahead to the park and had told Amy to tell us that she would follow very soon."

"DAMN Her!!" Matt picked up the first thing his hand touched which happened to be a glass bank and hurled it across the room. It shattered into a million pieces and coins went everywhere but Matt didn't stop, "I'll kill her!! I will kill her!!" He started for the door, but Nate caught him and shoved him back.

"That will not help anyone!"

"It will help me!!" Matt shouted back.

While Nate was struggling with Matt, Dan got calmly up and went to his closet. A moment later he emerged with a thick leather belt, and calmly made his way toward the door. Sam caught Nate's eyes and indicated her head towards Dan. Still keeping one hand on Matt, Nate backed all the way against the door.

"Where are you going, Dan?" he asked.

"To find Amy," Dan replied calmly.

"Oh yeah, and what are you planning on doing with that belt?"

"Well, I think it's about time Amy got a taste of her own medicine."

"Oh? What do you mean?" Nate played dumb.

"Isn't it obvious?" Dan retorted.

"Not to me. Why don't you explain?"

"Well, I think it's about God Damn time for her to learn what a welt feels like!!" Dan started to get angry again.

"Oh. And what will that solve?"

"Nate, just get out of my way!"

"Sorry. No can do, until you give me a good reason."

"That's my sister she's messing with, you fuck!! Isn't that a good enough reason? If that was Sam in there, you would sure as hell be standing right here in my place."

"You're right! I would! And you'd be in mine!!"

At that moment there came a loud pounding on the door. "Hey! What in the hell is going on in there?" It was my father's voice, and everybody froze. The next moment he was rattling the door. "Somebody better open this door, right now!" he commanded. Nate let go of his brother and moved away from the door. The next instant, it swung open and my father's large frame filled the doorway. My uncle was behind him, and so were Amy and Sean. Matt clenched his fists and moved towards Amy, but Nate caught his arm.

"Don't make things worse," he directed under his breath. Matt yanked his arm away, but made no further move. He and Dan both glared menacingly at Amy as my father and uncle entered the room.

"Dan, turn the music down, please!" Dan at first made no move to obey, and in fact gave no sign that he had even heard my father's request. "Actually, just turn it off! I can't even hear myself think." Dan still didn't move. "Now!" My father commanded sharply.

"Dad . . .," Dan started to protest.

"Don't make me ask again, Son."

"Yes Sir," Dan finally relented. Reluctantly, Dan made his way over to the stereo. Everyone was on their feet now, and a feeling of bitter anticipation filled the room as Dan did as he was told. Alex's eyes filled with tears again and he bit his lip in an effort to control them. Matt swiped angrily at his own tears and pushed Sam away as she tried to comfort him. Nate's eyes darkened and his own fist clenched now as he too looked past my father to Amy's smug face. Dan's hand rested on the power switch hesitantly and then, closing his eyes, he pressed it inward to shut the music off. For a moment the silence was deafening, but it wasn't long before the air was filled with the sounds they were all dreading; the sounds of me getting what would turn out to be one of the worst whippings ever in my life.

"OWWW!! MAMMA! PLEASE STOP, PLEASE STOP, PLEASE!" I screamed. She was dragging this out, taking her time between strokes, giving the sting from each one ample time to set in. The switch cut hard into my bottom again and my hands flew back, "That's Enough, Mamma! IT HURTS! IT HURTS SO MUCH!" I lay there rubbing my bottom and sobbing into my pillow.

"It will be enough when I say it is enough, Jessica! Obviously it is not enough, if you are still using that tone with me! Now, get your hands out of the way!"

"No, Mamma! Please! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I choked.

"I'm glad you're sorry, Jess, but you have earned this punishment. It will be over when I say it is and not before. Now remove your hands or they will have their share too!" I knew that she would make good on her threat. She already had twice. So, I brought my hands quickly back up to my pillow, balling my fists in the case, and burying my face. I felt the switch as Mamma drew it slowly across my bottom. I clutched my pillow tighter as she drew it back. I heard the swish and then CRACK! It cut me under my bottom right where I sat down.

"Owww! Mamma, Owww!" I sobbed, wrapping my hands still tighter in the pillow case to keep from reaching. I was dimly aware that the music had stopped, and I tried to be brave. I did not want everyone to hear, but my bottom was already on fire and the next four strokes made me scream despite myself. I twisted and turned, trying to get away from the stinging blows, but no matter how I moved the subsequent stroke seemed more painful than the last. I was clutching Mr. Flops and my pillow as tight as I could and wishing for my brother as the next stroke landed. "Oh Mamma, Please, please!! Owwww! Dan . . ." I sobbed, "Dan!" I did not know that in the next room, my brother would hear me.

Dan fell to his knees by the garbage can and was sick as Matt made a rush for the door and was intercepted by his father. "Stay out of it, Matthew, or I'll whip your behind too!" My uncle barked as he forced my cousin against the wall and pinned his arms.

"You don't know the whole story, Dad!" Nate interceded.

"I know that the two of you don't need to be involved, when it is not a matter that concerns you!" My uncle returned evenly.

"Oh, it concerns us!" Matt returned in the most obnoxious tone possible.

"Now, you listen to me, Matt, and listen good! I have just about had it with your fresh mouth and your negative attitude! I firmly believe that it is your obstinancy that is influencing your cousin's behavior, and if I hear so much as another negative word coming from your mouth, just one more word, I will take your pants down right here and give you the kind of whipping you have never yet known! Do I make myself clear?" My uncle had his face pressed right into Matt's and Matt tried to look away as hot tears sprang to his eyes, but my uncle held him fast. "Do you understand me?"

"Yes," Matt returned in a tone that was little better than his first reply.

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, Sir!" Matt spat and my uncle chose to ignore the tone. He let go of Matt, and Nate closed his eyes in relief, putting his head to his hand. Sam placed a hand on his arm as she too began to breathe easier. Such a scolding under those circumstances and in front of everyone, however, had made Matt reckless, and as my uncle turned around, Matt raised his middle finger. There were only two people who saw him. They were still standing awkwardly in the hallway. One was Sean who kept his mouth shut. The other was Amy who didn't.

"Rob!" She called. My uncle turned in her direction and Matt tried to jerk his hand back, but was not quick enough. My uncle caught his wrist and spun him around, dragging him forward and stretching out his left leg to support him. With one hand he pinned Matt's arm behind his back. With the other he quickly and deftly undid his belt, sliding it through the loops with the ease of a man accustomed to doing this by now. This was serious, though. My uncle had never before whipped my cousin in front of anyone, but Nate, and on the occasions where Nate had served as witness, he too had received punishment. Now, it did not seem to matter to my uncle who was around.

"Steven," he addressed my father, "I would like to borrow that cane of yours if you don't mind." Matt started to cry.

"Dad . . .," Nate and Sam both started to protest.

"Close your mouths! I don't want to hear it!"

"You have no idea what he's been through today!" Nate snapped.

"Nathan, right now I could care less what he's been through, and you watch yourself or you'll be next! Steven, can I have the cane please?" My father hesitated and looked around at his sons who were both sobbing, Dan still on his knees by the garbage can with his hand over his face and Alex with his head between his elbows, desperately trying to drowned out all sound. Then he looked at his niece and nephew. Sam was deathly pale as she too burst into tears and Nathan was as furious as he'd ever seen him. Something did not feel right about this, and what in God's name had his daughter done to deserve the kind of licking his mild mannered wife was clearly doleing out. None of it made sense. "Steven?" My father sighed and put his hand to his eyes.

After a moment, however, he looked up and addressed my youngest siblings, "Carrie, Dennis, Toby, go find somewhere else to be please." Traumatized, as they were, they started to obey tearfully and silently. As she was passing my dad, however, Carrie broke into sobs and threw her arms around my father's waist.

"Daddy please, please! Everything's a mess! Nothing is Matt's fault, or Jess's or Dan's! It's all our fault! Our fault and Amy's! Please don't let Uncle Rob whip Matt! Please!" My father held his small daughter for a moment and stroked her curly hair thoughtfully.

"Carrie, it's all right," he said finally. "I would like to hear what happpened. Go with your brothers now and I will be down in a minute. You can tell me your story then, and I promise you will have my undivided attention."

"But what about Matt?" my sister sobbed desperately.

"Go on now," my father commanded quietly, "it's all right." As soft as it was my father's tone left no doubt that he meant to be obeyed and my sister brokenly followed Dennis and Toby into the hallway where they had been waiting for her. My father watched her with puzzled eyes and consequently, he caught sight of Sean and Amy still lurking around the doorway. "The two of you go on and get too," he directed in a tone that was not at all understanding. "There's nothing here that concerns you." Sean reddened and immediately took off down the stairs. Amy, however, was slower. "Go on! Scoot!" My father repeated. It was with evident reluctance and disappointment that Amy dragged her feet towards the stairs, and my father frowned as he watched her go.

Finally he turned his attention back to the scene inside the room. Not much had changed, except that my uncle had given Matt several hard smacks with the belt by now, and Nate was holding Sam in his arms in an attempt to calm her. My uncle caught my father's eyes and raised his eyebrows questioningly. My father looked undecidedly one more time at my other two cousins and my brothers. Something really did not sit well about this. He sighed once more. He didn't like it, but what could he do? The boy had flipped his father off. Finally, with an air of resignation, he addressed my younger brother, "Alex, go and get the cane for your uncle please." Nate closed his eyes again and held Sam tighter as her sobs became even more hysterical.

"No Daddy, please! Please!" Alex protested.

"Go on," my father repeated sternly and Alex knew there could be no arguing. He drew his sleeve over his eyes in a useless effort to dry his tears and then with a guilty sidelong glance at Sam and Nate he made his way to the door.

Nate saw the look and responded. "It's all right, Bud," he said softly, "you have to do it." The encouragement only served to start Alex's tears flowing faster again and he once more drew his sleeve over his eyes as he passed out of the room, into the hallway and down the stairs.

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